the results!!!

ok so we did amazing. we won forst place overall and first in exhibition and inspection. unfortunately we placed third in regulation. its only pisses me off because i was the commander at that a moment. for my first time with the team i guess it was good but i dont know what was wrong with the drill. it was near to perfect. oh well i guess i will just have to watch it on tape on monday

hello goodbye wake up good morning

so right now my moms boyfriend is here and his friend is with him and do they love to drink. im isolating myself to my room because it smells like alcohol throughout the house and i cant stand it. i cant sleep either because they are extremly loud and wont shut up and sleep.and so here i sit blogging about my current issues i have at the moment when i really need to be sleeping and resting up for tomorrow. oh and did i mention that im losing my voice. not pretty for calling commands. anyways im gonna try to sleep. maybe blog some tomorrow when i get back. okknight guys!

tomorrow is game time!!

wow well i have to be realy early tomorrow and be at hunting ton at 7:30 . we go on the floor at nineish but there is still so much to prep for. oh and i was reading the SOP and i just realized that the way the girls have been falling in for regulation is wrong and i have to change it last minute by tomorrow. ahhh!! thats what scares me the most. i know the drill sheet and i can drill its that i dont want to mess up before i even actually drill them. i dont know i just know that i've been praying real hard about it and i know that god will help me through it at all times. he never leaves me hanging.i guess i am just worrying myself too much and just need to relax. anyways yeah thats all thats on my mind now. just wish us luck ..

well nighty night ppl. huge chem test in the morning! yay it just brings happiness to me everyday

parish drill !!!

so its friday manana and then saturday is the time to shine!! i have to be at huntington at 7:30 in the morning but we dont go on the floor until around 9:00. cant wait but still so scared outof my mind. well not necessarily scared but more pre-competition jitters. this is the first time i have to bring the team on the floor. i just hope that i dont mewss up and forget the drill sheet or call the command late and then go over our boundaries. the team lately has been having its issues just like any team and hopefully we can clean it up by saturday. well life is ok as of now i guess. its just that lately i've been really paranoid of my surroundings and just overly cautious of everything. and not to mention the really weird dream i had two nights ago that scared me til this day. it seemed so real that it could happen so easily which only makes it scarier. anyways i found my american history binder thankfully after i thought i was going to fail. it seems that the janitors who found kept it for a day before turning it in as lost and madfe me freak out. anyways i might blog later..

muwhahahaha yeah !!!

ok so today was ok.inspection was well.. it just couldve been better. for the first time i got an 88%. i never have made anything lower than a 95%. but as long as we get it together by tuesday of next week i think we should be ok. and then we have to worry about cadet challenge. yeah "PT makes me sexy!!!" god i cant wait.. to fail that is... the mile always kills me. and i really should go to the gym with my brother like he told me to but i cant find the time.
three more days until parish drill meet!! and its just now scaring me and i am starting to feel a bit worried. regulation looks good so far but i just feel like im going to screw something up.. this week doesnt feel so stressful thankfully and ive gotten ahead in alot of my classes. we even have a pep rally tomorrow for mardi gras but thats so wrong on so many levels. to have a pep rally on ash wednesday for mardi gras.. but its magnet. like we ever listen to what people have to say. and yeah so just a couple more days i can chillax maybe for an hour before i have to start worrying again. this time about regionals and then state and after that nationals.well i probably need to lay off this blogging and do some homework but this doesnt take long so it doesnt matter much.well i guess this is enough for now. i'll blog something later. but its not like anyone reads these anyways.

this song couldnt describe me better

today was........

today was ok . school needs to end asap. just let me get my class ring and call me senior all ready! this year like any year has its ups and downs but i have learned to discern what i really want for me and not for anyone else. the only problem is getting my ideas through to other people. i try to be the best but its like my best isnt the best and thats what they look for. i really cant take it anymore im gonna be me and thats it, period. unarmed has a long way til we can really be confident and say that we have first place in all categories again like last drill meet. oh and did i mention that our commander wont even be there bringing us on the floor. so guess who it comes down to. yeah me and freddricka. if that doesnt make things worse. all i have to do is regualation and thats nothing but its my first competition bringing the team on the floor. so i have way more responisibilty than im used to. i just pray we get this together.a dn next tuesday we have CFI the ROTC "superbowl". and im scared my platoon isnt on top of their game. our drill sucks. Literally sucks .its like everything that they learned in the beginning of the year was thrown out the window like they wouldnt ever need it again. yeah thats my life right about now. not to mention how irrational my parents are acting towards me and treating me like im retarded and cant make my own decisions. they say they dont want me to make my own mistakes but the more the keep me from making mistakes only draws me closer to them. UGH!! oh well just about one year and a month i wont have to deal with this anymore. thank god.. i cant wait to be 18 because thats when i get out of this jail cell of life im living in.

youtube!!

this is just some music that has really caught my attention.

i dont have a title for this but i wrote it sometime last year..

a whirlwind of emotion holds in and throws out anything that's in its path.
determined to destroy the living and the unseen.
set to separate reality from the false accusations.
runs forth when given the cue to attack and retreats if ever dominated.
loves if shown affection, and resents if hurt.
cries in time of hardship and laughs in moments of joy.
screams at heartache and anger but sympathizes for others and not oneself.
gradually becomes uncontrollable and spins out of control..

LIFE!!!!!!

why cant people just live it??! we are a society of status quo's and run by the other man rather than ourselves. tomorrow may not come and we take it for granted that we will wake up in the morning and see the sun shining bright through the windows. this isnt the case anymore at least not for me. i feel ive evolved as a person and have become so much more connected with JESUS. i dont know how i could live without him and i thank him for everything he has blessed me with. hes given me more than i deserve. i've come so close to losing myself and going the complete opposite direction but thankfully the struggle i had was a test of my faith and my love for him. hes taught me to be the person i am today and i feel gods puspose for me is to spread his word, his greatness, and his LOVE..

acquire the fire!!!

so today i went to church and finally met the youth at my church for the first time. as long has Ive been a member for almost three years i am just meeting the people there that are my age. without the acquire the fire youth trip i probably wouldn't even had the chance to meet them. They are some really cool people and not to mention crazy in a good way.i even ran into people from school that i pass by everyday and didn't even know we went to the same church. i cant wait to leave for Dallas. from what i know acquire the fire is life changing and I'm looking for some life changing and i know god has sent me to this because he knows its necessary for my walk with him. and by the way i want to meet David Crowder ,Israel Houghton and Jeremy camp. but how awesome would it be if Fred Hammond was there!!! so yeah today was a good day. other than the fact i got my grades from my teachers. :( nothing can really bring me down now. I'm just counting down the days for me to roll out!!!

life just loves bringing you down

so tonight ive started recollecting my thoughts on the path that im taking and examining everything that ive been through. and WOW life really starts to suck if you dont look on the bright side of things. thank god for great friends and an amazing boyfriend (ILY!!!) and of course GOD's unconditional love.. without these amazing people in my life i dont know what i could be into or where i could be..

heres to cedric and natali!!!

i promised to write a blog about two of my most awesome friends.. so yeah Natali is like one of my Mexicans but shes THE Mexican (not really). shes like a freaking genius when it comes to the guitar.. the girl can seriously play...(it could be the guitar hero.. hehe)no joke this chick has the god given talent to be great(oh and when I'm a millionaire I'm gonna give her all my money).. and then there's Cedric the GIANT.. and I'm not saying this cause I'm short.. he towers over everyone..just think the black jack and the beanstalk giant.. hes GINORMOUS.. hes cool people though. he's really laid back and eccentric but that can define all of my friends..yeah i love em both they kinda make me understand that's its OK to be me.. and different isn't a bad thing and it should be embraced than rejected from society. so for that i love you guys!!!! oh yeah and CEDRIC NEEDS A GF, SO ANY LONELY CHICK WITH A PULSE LOOKING FOR A TALL AND DARK GUY WITH A TAzER FROM HIS MOM CALL HIM UP!!!!!! 555-456-4242... do it now!!!

100 more days!!!!

coming into junior year i all ready knew i was gonna get my butt kicked. but didn't realize it would hurt this bad..yeah i go to a pretty demanding school but still, they aren't the least bit lenient. thankfully this year is almost over with and I'm so much closer to being a senior. it seemed just like yesterday i was a freshman and here i am worrying about what's in store for me when i graduate. as much as i want graduation to get here as fast as it can, I'm scared of all the things I'm going to have to give up and the the things that god has in store for me that I have to face. i would list them but that would take too long..oh well i guess I'm just going to have to surround myself with amazing people that i love in order to make it through this year..

so... i guess i can get into this blogging thing..

so i see that alot of ppl have blogs so i was like what the heck.. why not get one. its not like im gonna use it anyways. if you are really interested in this kinda stuff you can follow me but dont expect much..