ok i dont know where the hell that came from.. but anyways thats how i've been feeling lately. its like i have so much going on and so much to think about i cant retain anything properly..things from school to drill team stuff going on at home going to New Orleans RELATIONSHIPS.i havent been in one since april 1st but that doesnt mean i havent talked to people. the only thing though is that i keep up my end of the stick but someone always lets me down. i hate that so much but i cant help but say its ok and move on. its almost like i cant say no even when i should tell them like it is. now dont get me wrong i say what i want when time comes but certain situations just make me forgive and forget too easily and im afraid that that is one of my biggest flaws...its what always gets me hurt and im sick and tired of the same old games guys have tried to play on me and i cant stand it..almost like they dont understand that sometimes there are girls out there that are worth more than a one night stand or someone that they know is real easy and will put out at the drop of a hat..its like selfworth isnt even in the picture anymore.. why do people do this?? and why do people get that idea of me???
this makes no sense to me at all..i try to be the best that i can be and i have standards but yet this never stops them.. why cant i one day just find that one guy who doesnt care about all that other crap that supposedly makes them "down" with everyone and just rather care about the things in life and the things are special and important instead of putting ona front all the time in front of their boys and "act" like they run things... why cant there be guys who are real and wont put on a show???
anyways enough of my venting.. this has really just bothered me lately. dont get me wrongal guys are not like this at all. its just that now its like a trend to be the type of guy who only looks for the physical things froma relationship..
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