party in the u.s.a!!

i havent been on here in a while in almost two months. i guess i might as well post something while i have the time. not much has changed other than school started last month and its great to be a senior! im still working but of course my hours are gonna be cut.

i dont even know why im updating this anyways no one reads it. i guess i jsut use it for my own personal amusement. at the moment im listening to the audiobook of alice in wonderland and through the looking glass.

but yeah anyways....


school is still overwhelming but im learning to not let things stress me out so much. only thing im really worried about is college and scholarships. but thats about all. thankfully at magnet we have things to help relieve stress. like this past friday we our senior freshman mixer. its was ok but we all got ready with warpaint and everything!

well anyways so much for now.

if i knew love was in vain..

well to start off so much has happened in the past four days or so it seems. i finally started working and thank god i found a job im happy with. other than the fact that im on my feet all day and it seems as if they are gonna burn off in hell one of these days but who cares im making it bank LOL. i should actually get paid really well here since im a sales associate instead of a cashier so i can make commission of my weekly sales. so extra money is always a good thing.

trying to push my mom and dad into getting me a car soon and letting me get my license so they wont have to deal with me all the time and i can be a bit more independent. so hopefully now that im working they will notice that more.

well anyways that really all thats gone on haha and i said that alot has happened in the past four days. I LIED....

THE ENDD....

i wanna hlod em like they do in texas plays fold em let em hit me raise it baby stay with me, i <3 it..

finally the week is almost over!! yeah i dont know why im all that excited but i am.im gonna hang with Jess with weekend and have some fun for once this summer. i was going to dance at the taste of culture event at the center but it seems like daniel is busy and i really need to find replacements once im gone.hmm.. guess my dancing days are coming to a close...and to think about it so is high school.. its a bittersweet feeling.

well my mom barbecued again. she does this at least once a week. which taught us that my dogs like to eat corn or the leftover ears of corn. they used them like chew toys and i didnt know if i should let them have the corn or take them away.

practice for my team starts on monday and im really excited to get this year started early.i havent "stepped" in a while and it just feels weird. i also have administrative work to do being the battalion executive officer. geeze i think that i bit off more than i could chew. its more like they gave me more than i can chew..

well this gets so boring i doubt anyone reads this which would mean that im jst really talking to myself or using this as a "public" journal. maybe not the best idea...

here we go go go again...

well i noticed that my blogs are so pointless and a waste of time to write and to read yet its addicting.

in the past week i got a job had the interview started the job and quit.that was all in a matter of two days to be honest. restaurants are not my thing if u cant tell.oh well to be honest i don't mind not working at least i can relax and just do whatever i want, sorta..that was a joke. really all this past week ive been taking care of my dad who just had surgery.

i even spent a day with my brother. very random day and on the spur of the moment but it was fun. we went to the boardwalk and went shopping and for the first time i found someone who is more addicted to shopping than i am.its becoming a very big problem because he cant stop buying stuff. but nonetheless it was a fun day. we talked and held an actual conversation. it was a change from the typical awkward silence and or bossing each other around.

my dogs have gone nuts too. its like they are always restless so they entertain themselves with our shoes and my moms plants.they even found a way to hide underneath the house but like to wake us up cause they get lost and cant find their way out at 4 am. even blocking off the spot they usually go into doesn't stop them. they just dig another opening and crawl in. oh and did i mention how i nearly killed myself trying to give them a bath.
i was picking up ondoy and and the steps were wet cause they ran off and as i was walking down the steps i slip and fall down the steps. it was only three steps but it hurt like hell. my whole left side of my body is sore and i cant sleep on that side either. but its all swollen and feels like there are rocks embedded in my back and ass.

speaking of dogs i finally watched Marley and me. gosh people told me i would cry but i wasn't expecting it to be that sad. but it was a great movie.

its been an ok week i guess i can say. SO HERES TO A GREATER AND BETTER WEEK!!

a través del universo.....y los BEATLES

everyone has heard of the Beatles I'm sure...and maybe even know that the movie across the universe was a musical of Beatles songs..well i thought i knew that until i watched the actual movie. i didnt realize how amazing the lyricism was. now that i actually paid attention to the songs I'm addicted to them now. all i'm listening to are the Beatles and the covers that across the universe had in the movie..

here are some of the songs that i like a lot. some may be covers by other people because i liked their version of it better..

here is Adam levine from maroon 5:



this is T.V. Carpio who plays Prudence in Across the universe singing i wanna hold your hand



this is Ive just seen a face from across the universe sung by Jim Sturgess

champagne for my real friends real pain for my sham friends..

so yeah this past couple of days have been really eyeopening. some good others not so good. all in all i guess i have to take what ever is there in front of me and learn from it..i leave on Friday to go to Washington D.C. I'll be there for about four days for a academic team competition. hahah hopefully we do well. but yeah i must say that alot has been thrown at me and its all a learning experience.

well today was Fathers day so i got my dad a cake and a card that was hilarious. it was one of those taljing cards and it had the simpsons. need i say more.. yeah my brother got him some clothes cause my dad really needed to be upgraded so that was fun..my mom had a barbecue too: chicken, steak, fried green tomatoes some more cake and some other yummy stuff..my cousin and the fam came over it was fun. we stayed and played with my puppies and made dumb videos on justintv...

oh did i mention my brothers back from iraq! yeah he came in last week after being in iraq for about a year.. im so glad hes back home safe even though the only time i see him is when i got to my dads house and hes always asleep cause he stays out late and i only see his back with a really awesome looking tattoo i havent ever seen before but its awesome...my dads house actually looks like a tornado came through it cause my bro just has everything everywhere. the only things that are accessible is the laptop and the PS3.

but yeah some week ive had thank god i have puppies they love you unconditionally and will always be there for you and thank god for SONIC ! other wise i wouldnt be sipping this awesome caramel hazelnut jave chiller...

my brain is like a sponge that is oversaturated with junk....

ok i dont know where the hell that came from.. but anyways thats how i've been feeling lately. its like i have so much going on and so much to think about i cant retain anything properly..things from school to drill team stuff going on at home going to New Orleans RELATIONSHIPS.i havent been in one since april 1st but that doesnt mean i havent talked to people. the only thing though is that i keep up my end of the stick but someone always lets me down. i hate that so much but i cant help but say its ok and move on. its almost like i cant say no even when i should tell them like it is. now dont get me wrong i say what i want when time comes but certain situations just make me forgive and forget too easily and im afraid that that is one of my biggest flaws...its what always gets me hurt and im sick and tired of the same old games guys have tried to play on me and i cant stand it..almost like they dont understand that sometimes there are girls out there that are worth more than a one night stand or someone that they know is real easy and will put out at the drop of a hat..its like selfworth isnt even in the picture anymore.. why do people do this?? and why do people get that idea of me???

this makes no sense to me at all..i try to be the best that i can be and i have standards but yet this never stops them.. why cant i one day just find that one guy who doesnt care about all that other crap that supposedly makes them "down" with everyone and just rather care about the things in life and the things are special and important instead of putting ona front all the time in front of their boys and "act" like they run things... why cant there be guys who are real and wont put on a show???

anyways enough of my venting.. this has really just bothered me lately. dont get me wrongal guys are not like this at all. its just that now its like a trend to be the type of guy who only looks for the physical things froma relationship..

so yeah!!! im back!!!

yeah i really never went anywhere i just havent blogged or even been online in like almost two months..but yeah alot has changed. school is finally out and i got a job so i guess im trying to gain some sort of independence in my house and i guess its better than my regular routine of always staying home and doing nothing. ive even started working out more often, i guess my idea of having a great senior year is to first look the part. i've kinda slacked on staying in shape cause of stress so hopefully i can use this summer to get me to actually doing something worthinwhile. anyways i work at this nail shop, i guess its all right for a part time job but i feel more like a house maid there. all i do is clean and take nail polish off of people and then my bosses ask me to eat like every ten minutes. but yeah for now its gonna have to do. my first thing i wanted to get out of the way was my license but i thought about it and im putting that on hold for now..i really dont go anywhere even when i want to so theres no point in me trying now when i still need to find the time. but i guess this just gies me more time to practice.

oh and about school, on the last day my instructor talked to us and said tht theres a possibility of him being transferred to another school. like OMGGGGG!!! what the crap..that was like one of my nightmares coming to life..so i guess drill team will nver be the same even thought we start practices next week.. anyways i guess thats a long enough update on the past month..

omg im in love with this song as much i am in love with my life..

time for a change!!

literally i have changed and making changes. i cut my hair and i am so in love with it. not to mention how i am now like 4 shades darker than last thursday and i finally registered to vote!! thats prolly the most exciting thing for me. i cant wait to actually have a say in who i want representing me as a citizen. ive been bored and procrastinating terribly so this is what i do to kill time to live through my boredom. blog...

daytona, nationals and SUNSHINE!!

well got back in from daytona last night around midnight. i had tons of fun with my second family. it was a great break from school that was much needed and now i can refocus on the good things in life. i got a major tan which i intended on getting even though i really didn't need it. did some shopping and of course waking up to the ocean breeze and getting to swim a lot. but the main reason was to go drill team nationals. its been part of Sgt. masons five year plan since hes been at magnet. we made there and even though unarmed and armed didnt place we still brought some hardware home. armed color guard placed fourth and my friend natressa placed third in the nation for the best drilled cadet out of 1300 cadets of all branches. all in all it was a good trip. im praying that we can go again next year and have the opportunity to compete again and actually do some serious damage. while i was there i of course took plenty of pics of the gorgeous scenery that isn't an eyesore like shreveport.

PROMOTION BOARD !!

ok so i prolly have mentioned previously about promotion board and how extremely nervous i was and that i was gonna be a failure at life at it. anyways they posted the results this morning and i was really too scared to look at the sheet or even let anyone tell me. i was walking on campus and people started running to me asking if i had checked yet or if i knew. i was like no im gonna check now. possibly thinking that i was put into a position that was way not meant for me or something that i didnt want. but then wheni get close to the rotc building all the unarmed girls run out to me and start frantically saying kari have you checked yet only causing me to freak out even more. until shaterica said you got something really unexpected. this is when i started running. when i got in i pushed whoever was in front of me and saw my name. second from the top. i was battalion XO! are you like kidding me?? me?? kari ann walpole?? the one everyone tends to underestimate??? wow and then ppl around me are like keep reading. im like what else could i have gotten. as i get toward where the team commanders are listed i was unarmed commander too?!?!? wow i really didnt see that one coming after all the drama thats happened lately. but wow what an amazing start to my day. its like from that moment even the worst couldnt make me feel bad. the fact that i had failed like two tests in the same day didnt even make me upset. only problem i see thats coming is the resentment from those around me and people who i think shouldve gotten positions that they down right deserved rather than getting demoted. i dont know how exactly im going to go about this but i guess i will learn.just imagine the load i will have next year. most likely the commander of the battalion and commander of one of biggest team in rotc.i guess that means they all really have faith in me. kinda brings me back to my freshman year when they had asked me what i wanted to be senior year. that time it was battalion commander and drill team commander. and look at it now. my dreams came true!!!

spring break, huh?

well time really does fly by. spring break is over and school tomorrow. i cant belive i didnt eve do anything that i had planned this break. didnt try to get my license, didnt go to any of the billions of parties, i didnt even go shopping. oh well maybe its s good thing that i just stayed home and chilled with friends. oh well i know one thing is that i took a gazilloin pics of almost everything. so hers goes some of them with jess and my old dog and flowers in my moms garden and stuff.. yepp well not much left to say.. i'll keep you posted on stuff i highly doubt anyone reads this.


jessica!! my sista from another mista!


being caught off guard standing on the railings of the porch


some roses in mi madres jardin


driving on 70th past the airport


my old dog lucky!


and of course ME! what good whould this blog be without me!

???going back in time???

well ive been thinking alot about life in general. so i started thinking sincve its spring break i need to do some spring cleaning of my mind and the past. i started with my facebook and myspace well that held so much of my life that i want to get rid of but well cant find the strength to delete. so as i stare at the screen debating if i would regret it. i just simply closed the window. heres some stuff that i found:




"I imagined all of this before us, but there was never a face on the person I cared for. Now it's clear as the sun that that person has to be you."

"you've brought me from my elbows to my knees, i just need to know if you will help me to my feet so that we can walk to the glory of God's light together."

"My mind drifts to a complete state of ecstasy, the beats of my heart slow down as if taking the time to savor the moments, my body grows weak like it's preparing to gently grace your skin"

"then yall will get2 gether and be happy n years from now my pritty little babys will come ova ta your house and play with ur pritty babys and we'll all have lots of fun lol"

"energy drink for my soul"

listen to dis mayne!!

hahah so forget the title of the blog. so by now by my previous blogs music is my life. its what influneces in all that i do. i waste time on youtube listening to HOT beats and stuff from some of the greatest. well at least me. heres some more music thats definitely making it into itunes.

lets have a picnik!!

so last weekend a friend of mine told me about this website called picnik to edit photos. its a whole lot better than photofiltre. so today i went to church for easter sunday (oh btw HAPPYY EASTER!!) and i got bored and started editing some pics when i came home due to the crazy weather in lame shreveport.but here is what i have so far.. this is an easier way for ppl to see the crazy me that doesnt always get its fame.. in my opinion i think gabby and shawn have the better edited pics. as for cedric natalocampo and lil cosme.. thats another story or should i say blog..
oh and cedric made one for me tooo!! its the first one of me with the crown.

so the party went well. the food was of course AMAZING!! it kinda got weird cause some of us started acting like we were on something. but yeah it was pretty funny. oh and when alot of the ppl left the girls ( me, jessica, desi, michelle) started taking pictures galore. yeah i guess we thought we were models and started taking pics. weird thing is that they turned out pretty damn good.

so heres some pics that we took!






desi
michelle
jessica
meee
jess in the tree
tryin to get in the tree
me jess desi and chyene
michelle and i
me (jess playing with the cam)
mee again
another pic of me
me and jess
desi and i
desi me and chy
me trying strike a pose
heartssss
and lastly our charlies angels filipino style plus jess

a revelation has come around.........

so wow i really havent posted literally anything in forever. but anyways theres gonna be a party here at my house today. nothing big just some close friends of mine and people that have known me since i was born but it should still be fun. and of course with any filipino party there has to be tons of food. and that means preparation is a must. like last night i rolled eggrolls (lumpia) for about and hour and a half or maybe less with help from my mom. that was fun. i havent really talked to my mom much just about stuff. like random stuff and not get into an argument. that was nice, it helped with getting over some stuff thats happened in the recent past. but like it says its the past so anyways. i was playing with a bag of balloons and i didnt know how "special"i was until i started making noises with them. yeah i swear i asked my mom if she dropped me on my head when i was little cause it was really strange. and laughing uncontrollably about it kinda freaked me out. so i stopped and i started singing and if you know anything about me thats all i do is sing. and i didnt realize my window was open and its like 11:30 at night and my mom was like" shut up the neighbors are gonna think someones dying!" but hey im sure she meant that they were gonna wake up, not that i sing bad. cause i know i dont.so yeah that was my night yesterday and i cant believe how much junk food i ate. i think about it now and its so gross..
as for today i cleaned the house again after being waken up at 6 in the morning. all i did yesterday was clean so i refuse to clean a clean house. i guess i should get ready and actually look presentable to people. anywho i'll post pics of the party later on tonight.

some mo mursic!

hola hey guys!!! i decided since ive got nothing to do i should post something. well im going throught the music on my laptop that has a crap load of my brothers music on it. and didnt think we had that much music that we both liked. looks like he proved me wrong. heres some music that i found.

okay this song was like the most amazing song of the nineties!!



i love this song. it gets my blood pumping!! wooooo!!!







this one brings back so many memories when i was really little dancing in the living room and singing like a maniac with my brother

i havent posted anything in a while so i figured its time to get it done asap. anywho its been real busy in my life and it only comes from school. so much homework and tests to have done and studied for in such a short amount of time. i really think that we're all robots. anyways ive been stressint alot as you can tell and to add to it, my commander on drill team said im bringing the team on the floor for regionals. last time was cool cause she wasnt gonna be in town. but shes gonna be at competition with us. is she trying to set us up for failure. so ive only got like a week and a half to get this regulation straight before competition gets here. so talking about time constraints. (sigh) oh well i guess we will see what happens. oh but onthe bright side academic team made it to the third round and so that means we get to go to Washington D.C. for sure in june. that made me really happy to find out. even thought our score was like ehhh.. but yeah life itself is good but its the elements that are thrown into it that make it so dificult. so yeah thats basically it. i prolly should start working on homework now.

brrrrrrrr.....grrrrrrr..... rawrrrrrr

so yeah just got home and im waiting on my baby to wake up. (sigh) but its ok cause he works hard and i know it. yeah i'll just let him get his sleep. im going to viking challenge this weekend and that should be fun. its basically a physical fitness competition. yeah i was kinda shocked when thay asked me to go. but im not doing much. im only going to be in two events. (the centipede and cross country rescue) i hear that the centipede hurts really bad and all i have to do for cross country rescue is run with the guys that have the litter. so yeah it should be really fun. but its going to be cold so i have to wear the underarmour for a fact. and need to get my BDU's tomorrow. oh and sadies is this friday. not sure i want to go anymore. i would only go if the girls go. sorta like a team building thing. but knowing me i would be sore the next morning and wouldnt do well at viking challenge. but i heard its supposed to be fun. all i really wanna do is get out the house. which my mom is trying to keep on a minimum. well yeah thats my day so far. oh and ive seen girl scout cookies everywhere!!! but whenever i wanna buy some dang thin mints they run out... oh well im gonna get my cookies. oh and yeah that pic was me and my crazy self in english. gor some weird reason i always get the urge to act really stupid. and it was sooo cold in there too and i just happened to have my blankie..

so heres some of the music they had at the event.

im back!!!!!

well im back in shreveport. it feels like i was there forever but i wouldnt mind it. if anything i wish it was closer to home. it was so amazing. ive never felt the presence of god so close in my life and just knowing that made me re-commit my life and set my priorities straight. i definitely feel like a completely different person. like my soul has been wiped clean and all my worries are in the past and its staying there. i had the chance to listen to ron luce, casey johnson and mike guzzardo. i watched a drama over the life of jesus if he were walking this earth with us. oh and the music oh my goodness the music was AWESOME!!! unhindered, leeland,JEREMY CAMP, AND some guy that was rapping but we couldnt hear what his name was cause everyone was screaming so loud and the music was blasting. im gonna post pics and stuff later and im gonnamake a spliced up video of what i saw and experieced soon.

wooooo... (sigh)

so today was all good until i got home. today was an actual good day since we went to assemblies to register for our classes next year. so yeah anyways when i left practice we stopped by checkers and i got something to eat and then i headed home. so when i got out the car my mom says " ray is in jail." the first thing that popped in my head was wtf! are you kidding me. i thought it was something really bad. like he had beat someone up but i know he wouldnt have so that couldnt have been it. then i find out that he got stopped and didnt have his wallet or his insurance for the car with him. now thats happened to my mom before but they just followed her to the house and got the insurance and license and stuff and just settled everything. only problem is that ray isnt good with his english yet. hes only been here for a year and half if that long at least. so the cop just arrested him. ugh and the bail is like 25,000. where in the world is 25k just gonna pop up so we can get him out. so yeah even the bail bonds place is being retarded. so it was a good day. hopefully i can rest and not worry so much and just get ready to leave tomorrow for dallas. right now i can only call on jesus

25 mas dias!!

not much really happened to day that was all that exciting. but we found out that alpha company was best in ranks inspection. so that was good and col. durr made a comment about me during the briefing afterwards referring to me as " the little short girl" was blurting it out during inspection. im guessing thats a good thing and that i was motivated. so all in all to day was a good day up until academic team had to take the second portion to go to nationals. we did really bad hope fully the margin is low enough for us to go. yeah tomorrow will be my last day at school this week cause im leaving for acquire the fire friday morning and i'll be back at like 1 or 2 sunday morning. only bad thing about tomorow being the last day is that i have to make up work on monday and do homwwork thats due friday and turnit in tomorrow. like the beginning of my thesis paper is due tomorrow. oh well i just cant wait for this weekend

so cfi! wasnt all that bad

so today i was kinda freaking oiut about CFI but it was the easiest inspection ever. COL durr was a lot easier than i expected and all he asked me was the demographics of my platoon, what my cord stood for, if we placed any trohpies and what trophies did we place. ahh today was a good day as mr. evans would say.yeah so my head kinda is ore though because this donut in my hair is making the weight of my hair heavier and putting strin on my scalp. it hurts really bad.

the results!!!

ok so we did amazing. we won forst place overall and first in exhibition and inspection. unfortunately we placed third in regulation. its only pisses me off because i was the commander at that a moment. for my first time with the team i guess it was good but i dont know what was wrong with the drill. it was near to perfect. oh well i guess i will just have to watch it on tape on monday

hello goodbye wake up good morning

so right now my moms boyfriend is here and his friend is with him and do they love to drink. im isolating myself to my room because it smells like alcohol throughout the house and i cant stand it. i cant sleep either because they are extremly loud and wont shut up and sleep.and so here i sit blogging about my current issues i have at the moment when i really need to be sleeping and resting up for tomorrow. oh and did i mention that im losing my voice. not pretty for calling commands. anyways im gonna try to sleep. maybe blog some tomorrow when i get back. okknight guys!

tomorrow is game time!!

wow well i have to be realy early tomorrow and be at hunting ton at 7:30 . we go on the floor at nineish but there is still so much to prep for. oh and i was reading the SOP and i just realized that the way the girls have been falling in for regulation is wrong and i have to change it last minute by tomorrow. ahhh!! thats what scares me the most. i know the drill sheet and i can drill its that i dont want to mess up before i even actually drill them. i dont know i just know that i've been praying real hard about it and i know that god will help me through it at all times. he never leaves me hanging.i guess i am just worrying myself too much and just need to relax. anyways yeah thats all thats on my mind now. just wish us luck ..

well nighty night ppl. huge chem test in the morning! yay it just brings happiness to me everyday

parish drill !!!

so its friday manana and then saturday is the time to shine!! i have to be at huntington at 7:30 in the morning but we dont go on the floor until around 9:00. cant wait but still so scared outof my mind. well not necessarily scared but more pre-competition jitters. this is the first time i have to bring the team on the floor. i just hope that i dont mewss up and forget the drill sheet or call the command late and then go over our boundaries. the team lately has been having its issues just like any team and hopefully we can clean it up by saturday. well life is ok as of now i guess. its just that lately i've been really paranoid of my surroundings and just overly cautious of everything. and not to mention the really weird dream i had two nights ago that scared me til this day. it seemed so real that it could happen so easily which only makes it scarier. anyways i found my american history binder thankfully after i thought i was going to fail. it seems that the janitors who found kept it for a day before turning it in as lost and madfe me freak out. anyways i might blog later..

muwhahahaha yeah !!!

ok so today was ok.inspection was well.. it just couldve been better. for the first time i got an 88%. i never have made anything lower than a 95%. but as long as we get it together by tuesday of next week i think we should be ok. and then we have to worry about cadet challenge. yeah "PT makes me sexy!!!" god i cant wait.. to fail that is... the mile always kills me. and i really should go to the gym with my brother like he told me to but i cant find the time.
three more days until parish drill meet!! and its just now scaring me and i am starting to feel a bit worried. regulation looks good so far but i just feel like im going to screw something up.. this week doesnt feel so stressful thankfully and ive gotten ahead in alot of my classes. we even have a pep rally tomorrow for mardi gras but thats so wrong on so many levels. to have a pep rally on ash wednesday for mardi gras.. but its magnet. like we ever listen to what people have to say. and yeah so just a couple more days i can chillax maybe for an hour before i have to start worrying again. this time about regionals and then state and after that nationals.well i probably need to lay off this blogging and do some homework but this doesnt take long so it doesnt matter much.well i guess this is enough for now. i'll blog something later. but its not like anyone reads these anyways.

this song couldnt describe me better

today was........

today was ok . school needs to end asap. just let me get my class ring and call me senior all ready! this year like any year has its ups and downs but i have learned to discern what i really want for me and not for anyone else. the only problem is getting my ideas through to other people. i try to be the best but its like my best isnt the best and thats what they look for. i really cant take it anymore im gonna be me and thats it, period. unarmed has a long way til we can really be confident and say that we have first place in all categories again like last drill meet. oh and did i mention that our commander wont even be there bringing us on the floor. so guess who it comes down to. yeah me and freddricka. if that doesnt make things worse. all i have to do is regualation and thats nothing but its my first competition bringing the team on the floor. so i have way more responisibilty than im used to. i just pray we get this together.a dn next tuesday we have CFI the ROTC "superbowl". and im scared my platoon isnt on top of their game. our drill sucks. Literally sucks .its like everything that they learned in the beginning of the year was thrown out the window like they wouldnt ever need it again. yeah thats my life right about now. not to mention how irrational my parents are acting towards me and treating me like im retarded and cant make my own decisions. they say they dont want me to make my own mistakes but the more the keep me from making mistakes only draws me closer to them. UGH!! oh well just about one year and a month i wont have to deal with this anymore. thank god.. i cant wait to be 18 because thats when i get out of this jail cell of life im living in.

youtube!!

this is just some music that has really caught my attention.

i dont have a title for this but i wrote it sometime last year..

a whirlwind of emotion holds in and throws out anything that's in its path.
determined to destroy the living and the unseen.
set to separate reality from the false accusations.
runs forth when given the cue to attack and retreats if ever dominated.
loves if shown affection, and resents if hurt.
cries in time of hardship and laughs in moments of joy.
screams at heartache and anger but sympathizes for others and not oneself.
gradually becomes uncontrollable and spins out of control..

LIFE!!!!!!

why cant people just live it??! we are a society of status quo's and run by the other man rather than ourselves. tomorrow may not come and we take it for granted that we will wake up in the morning and see the sun shining bright through the windows. this isnt the case anymore at least not for me. i feel ive evolved as a person and have become so much more connected with JESUS. i dont know how i could live without him and i thank him for everything he has blessed me with. hes given me more than i deserve. i've come so close to losing myself and going the complete opposite direction but thankfully the struggle i had was a test of my faith and my love for him. hes taught me to be the person i am today and i feel gods puspose for me is to spread his word, his greatness, and his LOVE..

acquire the fire!!!

so today i went to church and finally met the youth at my church for the first time. as long has Ive been a member for almost three years i am just meeting the people there that are my age. without the acquire the fire youth trip i probably wouldn't even had the chance to meet them. They are some really cool people and not to mention crazy in a good way.i even ran into people from school that i pass by everyday and didn't even know we went to the same church. i cant wait to leave for Dallas. from what i know acquire the fire is life changing and I'm looking for some life changing and i know god has sent me to this because he knows its necessary for my walk with him. and by the way i want to meet David Crowder ,Israel Houghton and Jeremy camp. but how awesome would it be if Fred Hammond was there!!! so yeah today was a good day. other than the fact i got my grades from my teachers. :( nothing can really bring me down now. I'm just counting down the days for me to roll out!!!

life just loves bringing you down

so tonight ive started recollecting my thoughts on the path that im taking and examining everything that ive been through. and WOW life really starts to suck if you dont look on the bright side of things. thank god for great friends and an amazing boyfriend (ILY!!!) and of course GOD's unconditional love.. without these amazing people in my life i dont know what i could be into or where i could be..

heres to cedric and natali!!!

i promised to write a blog about two of my most awesome friends.. so yeah Natali is like one of my Mexicans but shes THE Mexican (not really). shes like a freaking genius when it comes to the guitar.. the girl can seriously play...(it could be the guitar hero.. hehe)no joke this chick has the god given talent to be great(oh and when I'm a millionaire I'm gonna give her all my money).. and then there's Cedric the GIANT.. and I'm not saying this cause I'm short.. he towers over everyone..just think the black jack and the beanstalk giant.. hes GINORMOUS.. hes cool people though. he's really laid back and eccentric but that can define all of my friends..yeah i love em both they kinda make me understand that's its OK to be me.. and different isn't a bad thing and it should be embraced than rejected from society. so for that i love you guys!!!! oh yeah and CEDRIC NEEDS A GF, SO ANY LONELY CHICK WITH A PULSE LOOKING FOR A TALL AND DARK GUY WITH A TAzER FROM HIS MOM CALL HIM UP!!!!!! 555-456-4242... do it now!!!

100 more days!!!!

coming into junior year i all ready knew i was gonna get my butt kicked. but didn't realize it would hurt this bad..yeah i go to a pretty demanding school but still, they aren't the least bit lenient. thankfully this year is almost over with and I'm so much closer to being a senior. it seemed just like yesterday i was a freshman and here i am worrying about what's in store for me when i graduate. as much as i want graduation to get here as fast as it can, I'm scared of all the things I'm going to have to give up and the the things that god has in store for me that I have to face. i would list them but that would take too long..oh well i guess I'm just going to have to surround myself with amazing people that i love in order to make it through this year..

so... i guess i can get into this blogging thing..

so i see that alot of ppl have blogs so i was like what the heck.. why not get one. its not like im gonna use it anyways. if you are really interested in this kinda stuff you can follow me but dont expect much..